So, yup it’s official. Rage Against The Machine claim the once coveted Christmas number one slot with their festive family singalong favourite “Killing In The Name” beating out poor, little, defenceless Joe McEl-dull-berry into number 2.

Am I happy? Damn right I am. Did I buy it? Damn right I did. But why?

Did I buy it to stick two fingers up to Simon Cowell. In the grand scheme of things, has this cost Simon Cowell money? Lords, no. Joe still sold 450,000 copies of his record, still a sizeable amount. Rage getting to number one probably won’t affect him at all, in any way.

Did I buy it to DAMN THE MAN??? Not really. Rage are on the same label as Joe, albeit on a different subsiduary – but it’s still Sony. Buying a record from Sony to teach Sony a lesson? Not smart.

Did I buy it to teach Joe a lesson? Not especially, although he does annoy the living beejebus out of me. Too many teeth, that boy.

Did I buy it to act cool? Ha, peeps that know me will know that being cool is the furthest thing from my mind at any given time. One look at some of my shirts would prove that.

Did I buy it to resurrect the Christmas number one chase as important? Not especially, but that has been the most notable side effect for me. How long is it since peeps have been hanging on the charts being read out on Sunday evening? I can’t remember the last time there was this much interest in the charts, although a little bell is ringing in my head saying Blur vs. Oasis…

You wanna know why I bought it?

Because I thought it was a bit of a laugh. There. No hidden agenda, no bitter reasons… just for a bit of fun. And yes, I bought more than one copy… but I’m also buying Joe’s single because my son wants it for Christmas. I feel dirty, but I’ll buy it for him. Buying more than one copy of Rage makes me feel like I offset my purchase… like carbon footprinting, if you will.

Seeing Rage Against The Machine on the Christmas Top Of The Pops is something that fills me with a little warm glee… and makes me chuckle. The amount of people – on BOTH sides – that are taking this exceedingly seriously, as if it’s of utmost world importance… they also make me laugh.

Now that Rage have the Christmas number one single, will my life change? No. Neither will Tom Morello’s – or Joe’s, for that matter. The £70,000 odd that has been raised as a result of the Rage campaign? That just might affect a few lives… and that’s a better Christmas present than a hit single, surely.

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