Category: TV


Tough Enough Week Two recap

Tough Enough this week featured a couple of special guests, Bull Dempsey’s left manboob and Bull Dempsey’s right manboob. Oh, and ROMAN~~~!!! who was there to make the women competitors, and I quote “wet”… Continue reading

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It’s true. I can’t deny it any longer, I have to come out, be honest and admit that yes, I do have a problem. I have an addiction. I am addicted… to cheesy reality TV shows on Discovery and History channels. Continue reading

The Live Wire goes Live: Raw recap

Well, hello. It’s 1am! It’s Sky Sports 3 HD LIIIIIIIVE! It’s gravely voiced pitch man giving us the usual blah blah blah about flashing images… that means… it’s RAW time! Yes folks, I’m going to live blog along with tonight’s Raw.

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Looking forward to Christmas? I usually do, but not this year. Myself and my son aren’t going to have a good Christmas this year, or any year. Why? Well, let’s take a look at this wonderful Christmas advert from Asda that explains it all:

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Kids TV had the best music

Yup, been hanging out on YouTube for way too long recently, and this idea came to me after trading links for over an hour with my lovely (and incredibly understanding) girlfriend.

When peeps think of Kids TV music, the usual suspects spring to mind – Dogtanian, Thundercats, Transformers, Trap Door, Gummi Bears… the list goes on and on and on…

Buried way down in your psyche, right there – behind the fear of the Boogie Man (not Fungus) and tucked underneath the way you like your toast – lies the forgotten songs. The song that you loved but nobody really talks about. Just that mad guy that never lets up.

That would be me. Hiya!

I have been known to wave the flag for the obscure, blow the trumpet of the bizarre and even carry the torch of the unknown… so what better way to try out this new place than present a list! Yes!

So, gentle reader, I present a list of the Seven (better than five, not as long winded as ten) Kids TV Tunes you never knew you knew! Of course, if you’re not from the UK, you may just like this glimpse into what our Kids TV was like!

Enjoy, either way!

Jamie & The Magic Torch

‘Ey Up Wordsworth! I used to absolutely love this as a kid, I wanted a Wordsworth dog for so long, and every time I got a torch, I used to point it at the floor… just in case. The show was bizarre, even by kids TV standards. The music, though was ace:

Chorlton & The Wheelies

From the bizarre to the… well, even bizarre-r. If that’s a word. And if it’s not, I’m making it one. There. Anyway, I digress. There’s this… thing. And it hangs around in a world full of other… things, but they have wheels. And they’re hated by a Welsh witch. No, really. Kids TV when I was growing up was waaaaaaay weirder than stuff kids get shown today.

Ulysses 31

Based on ancient Greek mythology, but thrown forward into the 31st century (hence the title) this show was most memorable because of the music. The actual show seemed to be a little ahead of it’s time, and didn’t get many, if any repeat showings. But you gotta love that funky electro-rock intro!

Rude Dog & The Dweebs

Ah, the sweet smell of an obscure show that hardly anyone lists, but when you remember, you make that “aaaaAAAH!!!!” noise. You do, I can hear it right now! Rude Dog was great, but was only made to sell sportswear. When they pulled the plug, Rude Dog was no more. Rest In Piece, Rude Dog…

The Family Ness

For a kid in Scotland, this show was sent from Heaven! Even the horrific overplayed Scots accents couldn’t take away the joy of a cartoon based on not just one Loch Ness Monster… but a FAMILY OF THEM!!! Yay!

The Flumps

Being totally honest? I don’t remember much about this bar they were meatballs with woolly hats. What more do you need? Oh and had a great theme that’s still being used on ads to this day!

Maid Marian & Her Merry Men

Saved the best of my little list until last. This show took the Robin Hood myth, and spun it that Marian was the hero, and Robin was a bumbling fool. More to the point, it had a great cast, and the theme at the end was brilliant – and sung by Danny John Jules, better known as The Cat from Red Dwarf.

The Return!

Yes peeps, I’m back. I know pretty much just me and my non existant dog read this thing anyway, but there’s been a huge gap between posts in the past few weeks.

Nothing to do with Iggy Pop’s constant annoying presence on the telly… no, nothing as sinister as me trying to figure out where the old leathery faced walloper lives so I can go and hunt him down and tell him to his face that he’s a total sell out.

Nope, it was as boring as me being ill. As boring as me having to spend time setting up my new laptop and forgetting passwords and the like of such important things as web addresses. Ha! I’m an idiot!

What else have I been doing? Well, not a lot to be brutally honest. I’m in a kind of holding pattern in the war inside my head. I have good days, I have bad days. Most of the time I have “meh” days.

But what have you been reading, watching, listening to?” I hear my non existant dog cry!

I have been watching TV. Lots of it. I have become infuriatingly addicted to Come Dine With Me and repeats of DIY S.O.S. for no apparent reason. Over the past week I have also watched Zack and Miri Make a Porno and thought it was most entertaining, although a full frontal shot of Jay Mewes is not something I ever really want to have to go through again… DAMN YOU, MR. SMITH!!!

I have been listening to Thunder and AC/DC and went to see a couple of live bands – DC79, a tribute to Bon Scott era AC/DC and Twin Lizzy, a tibure to… yea, you guessed it – Thin Lizzy. I was supposed to go see a pirate metal band – Y’aaaar! – but they turned out to be a viking metal band and not actually on the night I went to see them. D’oh!

I’m debating actually buying the U2 record as well. I’m loving Get On Your Boots and think it’s truly awesome in a Vertigo and Love & Peace Or Else manner. Plus Bono makes me laugh, and sometimes intentionally…

So there we go. Normal – or abnormal service – will be resumed as of now. Hopefully…

Have fun!

Punk Rock is dead

You seen these things in between the cool programmes on TV? You know the ones, little 30 second films trying to get you to buy something… adverts, I believe they’re called. Turns out they’re starting to get worse. How do I know? Well, my friends… this is how:

Yeah. That’s Punk legend Iggy Pop. The self-proclaimed Rock Iguana… hailed by a lot of peeps as one of the Godfathers of Punk Rock. And now he’s selling car insurance??? CAR INSURANCE???

Words cannot express how sickened I am.  I’m not a violent man, really I’m not… but seeing Iggy proclaim that “You think selling car insurance? I’m not, I’m selling time!” really makes me want to pick up something heavy and/or pointy and throw it in his general direction.

But here’s the thing – it turns out that Swiftcover’s insurance policy contains a list of exceptions… a list of careers and professions that they won’t offfer insurance to. Guess what one of them is? Yup, musician. So Iggy might be selling time… but he sure as hell ain’t buying car insurance from Switfcover.

This ad just irritates me beyond belief, I’m enraged just sitting here thinking about it.

You think Iggy of the 60s and 70s would do ads for car insurance?

I don’t know… all we need now is Johnny Rotten to start advertising butter…